Things we have done: April

Having my grandmothers pass away was sort of the big event of April. I still really struggled with accepting Seattle as our home, but it started to get better as sunny days would pop up here and there.  I think it was so hard for me, becasue I haven't ever lived in such an extremely "cold" place. I don't mean that its cold, but more that it stays pretty much below 70 all the time. I'm playing catch up, but I am writing this on June 12th and it is 52 degrees. But thats normal! Everyone is totally cool with it. I know other places are colder, but mentally to me, April should mean spring (and yes the occassional snow storm like Utah does so well) and May get s little nice, and by June you can play in the sun all the time. Its been hard, but hopefully it will get easier.
I knew the best way to keep the blues at bay, or at least try, was to keep doing activities like we had been. There were some beautiful days in April and we took advantage of them.


We wanted to go on a hike but didn't feel up to anytihng bigger than Swamp Monster. We pulled into the parking lot and it started to POUR! I got so mad. Like so mad that I started laughing hystarically. I just couldn't stop shouting "I HATE SEATTLE!!" and meant every word. I'm sure I offended so many hikers. Ethan, like always just kept saying the most positive things, "Yes babe. The rain is old, but look at this cool moss" "Arizona wasn't this green" "Our drive to this hike was only 7 minutes. Thats cool" and so on. I tried so hard the whole hike to make sure my hatred didn't taint the girls because truthfully they are in heaven when in the woods, or as Madison says, on a "height!" they love it and I never want them to stop loving it. I have to learn to be more mature beacuse the good is great.

We found this awesome "fort" and that was fun to climb into AND around the time we found this fort, it stopped pouring and was oinly drizzling which the girls loved

 This was my "I'm going to appreciate all this green some day so I better take a picture" picture

 for real though, look how green? This is 7 minutes from our house. I wish I could just love love love it all the time. I am trying to hard. I promise. I really want to be like my girls. They embrace everything with open arms.

 Cool fog approaching

 Madison has mastered the climbing wall. It was scary to let her learn because its about 6 ft tall, but she can now do it and slide down the "fass (fast) slide" at the part (park)

One sunny day, I took the girls up to the tulip festival. I have been wanting to go to the tulip festival since I was a kids but we just always lived so far away. It was fun to make it happen and a great reminder that not everything has to be "RIGHT NOW!!!" Lots of things should happen when you can take advantage of them, but there is lots of life to live and lots to learn and you never know when you will come full circle to try activities that you wanted to do as a kid.
After the tulip festival, which wasn't too crazy and GORGOUES!, we drove the extra 30 minutes to Deception Pass. AMAZING!!! If it wasn't 2.5 hours away, I would take all guests there. It was so much fun. And when we pulled into the park, the sun popped through the clouds and it was warm enough to take jackets off and just sit and throw rocks. We were all much happier people afterwards

Kelsey jumped out of the car and started SPRINTING for the water" WATER!!!!," she cried. She was so excited

Madison was excited too. She isn't as willing to touch the water, but she wants to be near it. She loves to throw as many rocks back into the water as she can. She "rescued" a solid 46 rocks I think that day

 "Please don't get too far in Kels. I only brought boots" When will I learn that she just can't help herself. Luckily, we were almost done with our trip so it didn't matter that she was soaking wet :)

 Kelsey aksed me to draw AZ. I was so proud of myself that I hung this on the fridge

 Madison LOVES to be sneaky. Whenever I am upstairs, she sneaks down stairs and finds something to get into. Her hiding place is alwasy behind the couch and her "go to" for being naughty is my "backpack" or pruse as most would call. I can not tell you how many sticks of gum she has consumed and how many lotions she has rubbed on her legs. It drives me crazy. No matter where I put my purse, she finds it!! Sneaky girl!!

 On the way home from Grandma Farnsworth's funeral, the girls and I split the trip up into two days. We drove through Boise and stayed in a hotel and then finished the drive the next morning. They girls were so awesome. I was so proud of them.

 Park at the hotel

 Boise temple

 Eating dinner at 3:30 becasue we were starving. The girls will hate me some day for show this pictures but I love it so so much!

 When we got home, this was waiting for us along with books and flowers. It was so good to see Ethan again.

 Easter with the cousins

the funeral 

 

When we were visitng the Snelsons, we lost Madison. Apparently she got stuck on Carson's bed and instead of jumping off (thankfully) or crying for help, she just laid down and fell asleep 

 Inside joke, but this is the firdge almost every Saturday. Its pretty ridiculous.

 Siena's birthday

 My beautiful Grandma Nelson

 I missed Kay so I ate apple salad

Family pictures

Back in November, at my very first Relief Society activity, I won a picture session with Lelani Dong in the ward. I was excited but didn't think much of it. I just assumed, she would do a mini session or be an aspiring photographer. Both things were perfectly fine with me because we don't get family pictures very often, but oh how wrong I was!
Lelani is one of the most talented photographers I have ever been around. I LOVE her style and she is so soft in her approach. She just lets you basically set yourself up and conduct yourself as you normally would which helped capture such a natural look. AND she got us the pictures literally the next day. It was just such a great experience overall.

Lelani asked us to help her with an "all white" project she was creating so we all wore white. The point was to show how one dimensional it is compared to when you all wear different colors, but this may be the best picture smile wise! It was also the first one so I guess that makes sense. 

 I got so awkward with the lovey pictures. She captured some cute moments but it just felt so weird to kiss in front of a camera. It was weird on my wedding day and is still weird. I'm just not a public person. Lelani was so cute about it though and once she could tell that I was so uncomfortable, she just rolled with it and got some cute laughing pictures.

 this was also really awkward for me because my casual face always just looks ticked off. I was SHOCKED to see that she was able to capture a face that didn't look mad at the world. I actually love this picture

 I thought these were interesting. She had us stand all together and then would zoom in, or walk up to different members to capture different moments. Very different to me but I totally loved the results. I'm telling ya! This girl has some serious talent!

The girls were such troopers. Because the sun sets to late, we had to take these pictures starting at 8. They were so tired, but did such a great job

The Band- Aid effect

On April 7th my mom called at 7 am my time, which was very weird because she isn't up until 3 pm my time so I instantly knew something was wrong.
"Mom, what's going on?"
My first reaction was that dad was hurt or they were trapped in an earthquake or something like that
Turns out Grandma Farnsworth had had a heart attack in the night and had passed away. I almost burst out laughing, to be completely honestly. Surely my mom was kidding! Grandma Farnsworth was NEVER going to die. We had beat cancer 7 times, was as quick as a whip, and had just had her 93 birthday party literally 2 days before where she was cracking jokes and singing songs. She was as strong as an ox.
Well Grandma passed very quickly. Uncle Jeff and Aunt Pat were with her when she passed, and they were able to call aunt Betsy so all three of them were with her. They said, she came out to the front room complaining about chest pain, went back to her room and called out for help. Within 30 minutes she had passed to be with my Grandpa again after 25 long years.
I always wondered what I would feel when I learned about a Grandmas passing. I didn't really know my grandpas so their deaths were not very monumental for me, but I was always afraid that losing a grandma would just be the worst. Turns out, I was wrong. Losing my grandma was one of the most peaceful feelings I have ever felt in my whole life. I didn't even cry at her funeral. I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming joy and happiness knowing that she was reunited with my Grandpa. Grandma Farnsworth was an amazing women. She made everyone feel like they were the most important, had the best sense of humor, and her faith was solid as a rock. A few days before she died, she was surrounded with loved ones, had her children with her when she passed, and I 100% know that she was greeted by loved ones once her spirit left her body. She did it right in my book. Valiant until the very end and got to celebrate a joyous reunion.

As calm as I felt about my Grandma, it was heart breaking to have to watch my mom grieve from afar. Due to the length of travel, there was no way my mom and dad could have gotten to the funeral in time so she had to stay in Japan. I know that was very hard for her, but very brave of her. She has an amazing testimony of life after death, which has certainly helped in this whole process, but it was so hard to have to watch her be sad from so far away. Luckily, before Grandma passed, Christine had already booked tickets to Japan so she was able to be with my mom the day of the funeral which was such a blessing. The Lord works in mysterious and beautiful ways.

As we were all preparing for the funeral in Utah, we got a text from Aunt Patti saying that Grandma Nelson had fallen and hit her head and was in the ICU. This happened on 8th, the day after Grandma Farsnworth passed.  After days of back and forth, eventually she was taken home from the hospital with the care of hospice. We were told it was a matter of days before Grandma would pass away. We all called Grandma on Easter but she was so frail that it was hard to communicate with her. We were able to share our love with her before she got too loopy to understand what was going on. Grandma Nelson hasn't felt great for a while and has literally prayed to die for years so in a small way, it was kind of a blessing to know that the end for her was finally here. On our drive home from Utah, my dad called to say that she had passed. It was April 15th. She was surrounded by all her children and even some grandchildren. Grandma Nelson finally got to see Grandpa again. A person I never got to met. He died in 1987. She was an amazing woman. Her testimony never wavered despite the challenges she had to go through and I never once wondered about her love. I never got to live by my Grandma and often would go years without seeing her, but she always sent cards and notes and remembered every important event in my life and in my children's life. Grandma loved her family more than anything. Growing up I always remembered Grandma Nelson as being faithful and gentle. She had such a strong but quiet presence. I admire her in so many ways and the older I get, the more I admire about her.

Once again, I felt very calm when I heard this news, and even more than calm, I felt gratitude. Grandma was finally rid of her failing body which was a frustration for her and was able to be with Grandpa. It was a tender day.

My dad had a hard time losing his mom from so far away, but once again, it was sort of a special and sweet time for my parents. In the course of a week they had both lost their mother and mother in law. It was a hard time for them, but they could understand one another so perfectly.

I have often felt bad because I didn't cry one time regarding my Grandmothers passings. I have often worried that my heart was too hard or that I didn't appreciate them enough, but the more time passes, the more I realize we all just show emotion differently. I don't think I had the closest relationship with my Grandmas because I had some cousins who physically just lived closer, but I do feel like I was loved by them very much. Their passing brought me closer to my siblings and in a way, it was hard to be sad about that. We don't get to see each other very often and even though I couldn't go to Grandma Nelsons funeral, I still felt like I was close to them. Its amazing too, they were both pretty old, valiant women who lived faithful lives, were surrounded by loved ones, and were widows for over 25 years. I guess in my mind, its impossible to be sad that they had to leave. We had so many great years with them, and their mission was over. I love my grandmothers very much and hope I honor their lives in my daily living.

I have had a few friends ask what it was like to lose two grandmas in one week. Every time they ask me, I just laugh. I mean seriously! It kind of is ridiculous right?! I mean, not the most ridiculous thing in the world, but who losses two grandmas in the same week to unrelated causes! Its kind of hard not smile about it. For me, it was like the band aid effect. If we are going to have one funeral, why not have two?! I don't mean that I am not sad and that it is funny, but actually I can't help but think It is funny! And you know what, I know my grandmas would laugh too because they both had great sense of humor! I love you Grandma and Grandma! You both made April very memorable!!!

I will miss my Grandmas terribly and I'm sure there will be times still to come that will be more sad than others like selling of their homes or getting rid of their things or the first time they don't send Christmas cards ect, but until then, I  have such fond memories of each of them and know without a shadow of a doubt that they are with their spouses in Heaven. They were amazingly valiant women and I am honored to have them in lives for as long as I did.