On April 7th my mom called at 7 am my time, which was very weird because she isn't up until 3 pm my time so I instantly knew something was wrong.
"Mom, what's going on?"
My first reaction was that dad was hurt or they were trapped in an earthquake or something like that
Turns out Grandma Farnsworth had had a heart attack in the night and had passed away. I almost burst out laughing, to be completely honestly. Surely my mom was kidding! Grandma Farnsworth was NEVER going to die. We had beat cancer 7 times, was as quick as a whip, and had just had her 93 birthday party literally 2 days before where she was cracking jokes and singing songs. She was as strong as an ox.
Well Grandma passed very quickly. Uncle Jeff and Aunt Pat were with her when she passed, and they were able to call aunt Betsy so all three of them were with her. They said, she came out to the front room complaining about chest pain, went back to her room and called out for help. Within 30 minutes she had passed to be with my Grandpa again after 25 long years.
I always wondered what I would feel when I learned about a Grandmas passing. I didn't really know my grandpas so their deaths were not very monumental for me, but I was always afraid that losing a grandma would just be the worst. Turns out, I was wrong. Losing my grandma was one of the most peaceful feelings I have ever felt in my whole life. I didn't even cry at her funeral. I couldn't help but feel an overwhelming joy and happiness knowing that she was reunited with my Grandpa. Grandma Farnsworth was an amazing women. She made everyone feel like they were the most important, had the best sense of humor, and her faith was solid as a rock. A few days before she died, she was surrounded with loved ones, had her children with her when she passed, and I 100% know that she was greeted by loved ones once her spirit left her body. She did it right in my book. Valiant until the very end and got to celebrate a joyous reunion.
As calm as I felt about my Grandma, it was heart breaking to have to watch my mom grieve from afar. Due to the length of travel, there was no way my mom and dad could have gotten to the funeral in time so she had to stay in Japan. I know that was very hard for her, but very brave of her. She has an amazing testimony of life after death, which has certainly helped in this whole process, but it was so hard to have to watch her be sad from so far away. Luckily, before Grandma passed, Christine had already booked tickets to Japan so she was able to be with my mom the day of the funeral which was such a blessing. The Lord works in mysterious and beautiful ways.
As we were all preparing for the funeral in Utah, we got a text from Aunt Patti saying that Grandma Nelson had fallen and hit her head and was in the ICU. This happened on 8th, the day after Grandma Farsnworth passed. After days of back and forth, eventually she was taken home from the hospital with the care of hospice. We were told it was a matter of days before Grandma would pass away. We all called Grandma on Easter but she was so frail that it was hard to communicate with her. We were able to share our love with her before she got too loopy to understand what was going on. Grandma Nelson hasn't felt great for a while and has literally prayed to die for years so in a small way, it was kind of a blessing to know that the end for her was finally here. On our drive home from Utah, my dad called to say that she had passed. It was April 15th. She was surrounded by all her children and even some grandchildren. Grandma Nelson finally got to see Grandpa again. A person I never got to met. He died in 1987. She was an amazing woman. Her testimony never wavered despite the challenges she had to go through and I never once wondered about her love. I never got to live by my Grandma and often would go years without seeing her, but she always sent cards and notes and remembered every important event in my life and in my children's life. Grandma loved her family more than anything. Growing up I always remembered Grandma Nelson as being faithful and gentle. She had such a strong but quiet presence. I admire her in so many ways and the older I get, the more I admire about her.
Once again, I felt very calm when I heard this news, and even more than calm, I felt gratitude. Grandma was finally rid of her failing body which was a frustration for her and was able to be with Grandpa. It was a tender day.
My dad had a hard time losing his mom from so far away, but once again, it was sort of a special and sweet time for my parents. In the course of a week they had both lost their mother and mother in law. It was a hard time for them, but they could understand one another so perfectly.
I have often felt bad because I didn't cry one time regarding my Grandmothers passings. I have often worried that my heart was too hard or that I didn't appreciate them enough, but the more time passes, the more I realize we all just show emotion differently. I don't think I had the closest relationship with my Grandmas because I had some cousins who physically just lived closer, but I do feel like I was loved by them very much. Their passing brought me closer to my siblings and in a way, it was hard to be sad about that. We don't get to see each other very often and even though I couldn't go to Grandma Nelsons funeral, I still felt like I was close to them. Its amazing too, they were both pretty old, valiant women who lived faithful lives, were surrounded by loved ones, and were widows for over 25 years. I guess in my mind, its impossible to be sad that they had to leave. We had so many great years with them, and their mission was over. I love my grandmothers very much and hope I honor their lives in my daily living.
I have had a few friends ask what it was like to lose two grandmas in one week. Every time they ask me, I just laugh. I mean seriously! It kind of is ridiculous right?! I mean, not the most ridiculous thing in the world, but who losses two grandmas in the same week to unrelated causes! Its kind of hard not smile about it. For me, it was like the band aid effect. If we are going to have one funeral, why not have two?! I don't mean that I am not sad and that it is funny, but actually I can't help but think It is funny! And you know what, I know my grandmas would laugh too because they both had great sense of humor! I love you Grandma and Grandma! You both made April very memorable!!!
I will miss my Grandmas terribly and I'm sure there will be times still to come that will be more sad than others like selling of their homes or getting rid of their things or the first time they don't send Christmas cards ect, but until then, I have such fond memories of each of them and know without a shadow of a doubt that they are with their spouses in Heaven. They were amazingly valiant women and I am honored to have them in lives for as long as I did.
beautiful testimony Cami!
ReplyDeleteSo wonderfully put! And isn't it amazing that even if we don't cry at the lives lost, it's because we know they really aren't lost. Families are forever so don't let anyone make you feel bad for not crying! <3
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